The sun has finally returned to Streeterville, and the temperature has at last crept upwards to the outrageously high mark of 70 degrees. However, when I went out for lunch it felt like I should have been wearing long sleeves because the wind was blowing from an Easterly direction off the lake. Oh yeah, cooler by the lake. A few of the boats have returned this afternoon, and no doubt tomorrow will be warmer yet and Streeterville Bay will be packed with July 4th weekend celebrators. In the meantime we can take a breath and enjoy the lack of boom, boom, boom from the fireworks.
Oh boys and girls I have tread in dangerous waters. It seems that these last couple of days I have displayed the unmitigated gall to question some American norms, "Big American Cars," Big American Houses, and "Big American Yards" in the suburbs. I more or less expected some fallout inasmuch as all of my family, most of my wife's family, and countless numbers of friends and acquaintances choose this existence. And I didn't even mention "Big American People." Lord, my family is, on the whole as wide as they are tall, and might have me drawn and quartered. Nevertheless, I bravely (insanely?) soldiered on, daring to go where angels fear to tread (Oh hell, I don't believe in angels either. So there.). Today I continue with my quest, just as Napoleon bravely soldiered toward Moscow. (We all know how that turned out, don't we? You don't? Shame on you. Read your history.)
The final piece of the puzzle is just this. What most Americans believe is "normal," what most Americans aspire to along with those "Big American Cars," Big American Houses," and "Big American Yards" is family, and what most Americans envision as family includes #1 Kids (2.3 on average) and #2 Dogs (Usually just one, but sometimes more.). Now don't get me wrong. I have no problem with dogs and kids, as long as they are other people's dogs and kids. I just do not aspire to that myself. I believe it was W.C. Fields who was quoted as saying, "Any man that hates dogs and children can't be all bad." I wouldn't go that far. I believe it was my own brother, who once was heard to say, "The only thing more obnoxious than dogs are the people who own them." He denies this quote now, however. At the time I believe he had just been bitten by a neighbor's dog. Enough said?
As regards dogs, I have mixed feelings about them. A long time ago, when I was just a wee lad my family moved from a rural area just outside Hot Springs, Arkansas to the city of Little Rock, Arkansas. At that time, my father gave away the family dog. He wouldn't have a dog in the city. He always thought dogs needed room to run, to be dogs. We never had one. My mother got a cat. I grew up with cats. My experience with dogs was one of having neighbor dogs chase me on my bicycle and biting me, and neighbor dogs howling and barking in their back yard prisons, keeping the neighborhood awake at night. I've met a few since that are pleasant enough creatures, but can't say I'd have one of my own. Rather own a couple of cats. Don't have to walk them. They're clean. They poop in litter boxes. They don't smell like umm, wet dogs. There are dog people and there are cat people. I am undeniably one of the latter. Don't even get me started on the big dogs (woofers) vs. little dogs (yippers) thing. That's a topic for another day. Ooohhh, I hate it when the big ones jump up on you and lick you in the face with that big slimy tongue. Oooohhh I hate those little yippy hyperactive mutts that bounce off the walls and try to chew your ankles off. Enough? Enough.
And now for the really touchy part. I do not, repeat, do not hate children. I do not think people with children are dolts. I just choose not to have any myself, and I would appreciate it if people out there did not audibly feel sorry for me for such an empty life. I teach in a public school. I deal with other people's kids 5 days a week for many hours a day. Then I go home and there is adult quiet and sanity. At one time I acted, directed, and wrote children's plays. I enjoy teaching and entertaining and encouraging children in their growth toward adulthood. Other people's kids. It's okay. Babs and I give a lot of focus to professional and artistic interests. We get to go to places like Europe and Africa and Asia and Australia and go to bed when we want and get up when we want and we don't have to save for someone's college education. We can save for our own retirement and expect to live a decent life. Do you think this is really self-centered and pathetic? Oh get over yourself. I grant you your life. Grant me mine. It is one more way of being "normal."
Okay let's do a little normalcy check here. Big car? Nope. Big house? Nope. Big yard? Decidedly nope, unless of course you count that huge strip of park land along Lake Michigan, across the street. Now that's one big honking yard. Anyway, dog? Nope. Kids? Nope. And it's all okay. I hope you all enjoy these things. I will certainly enjoy the things I've chosen. Life is short. Do things that make you happy, assuming of course those things that make you happy don't infringe on the life, liberty, and property of others. We can all enjoy different things, but we can also get along and be happy for others who are different. We can all be real Americans. Wave the red, white, and blue boys and girls. I just plan on doing it in the middle of a large city where I feel most at home.
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