Holidaze!

I just returned from Spring Break, so-called because A) It is spring, and B) My employer gave me a break for a week, a paid break. This break is not to be confused with other sorts of breaks that are sometimes given by employers. If, for instance, your employer gives you an unpaid break this is generally known as a "Layoff," not a break persay, even if it does occur in the spring. Let's get that straight. Sometimes employers may use euphemisms for these "layoffs," such as "Furlough" or "Downsizing" or "Early retirement." Still, they are not what we might think of as legitimate breaks. Mind you, if your employer uses the "Furlough" term, it may mean that there is hope of actually returning to work at some future date, "when the numbers look better." Still not a legitimate break, though.

Once upon a time, Spring Break was known as "Easter Break," and Winter Vacation was known as "Christmas Break." Then, for those of us who work for the government in some capacity or other, it occurred to the legal department that there is this constitutional concept known as "separation of church and state." Turns out a public entity shouldn't really be giving paid holidays to celebrate religious holidays. In a society that touts "freedom of religion" that's a really slippery slope. Then you have to give Jewish people paid holidays for "Passover" and "Channukah" and "Yom Kippur" and who knows what else. Then you know the Muslims are going to demand holidays and probably shut down the cafeterias from sunup to sundown during Ramadan, and well you get the picture. I don't even want to get into the Hindu and Buddhist celebrations, and don't get me started on the Wiccans, although they might have some pretty cool paid holidays, if they were given them. I could kind of get into that dancing naked around fires stuff, or at least a bit of ogling thereof.

It does seem pretty odd to me, however, that "Winter Break" magically occurs right at the time when we used to have "Christmas Break" and "Spring Break" always occurs at precisely the time when we used to have "Easter Break." Turns out that's pretty handy for the Jewish folks as well because for some reason Easter and Passover take place at just about the same time of year. Everybody benefits, unless of course you're Muslim or Hindu or Buddhist or Zoroastrian or Wiccan or Rastafarian. Of course, if you're Rastafarian life is a big holiday, isn't it? (Note to self: Check out possible connection between Easter and Passover. Coincidence or not? Hmmm.)

The funny thing is that even though they've taken away our Christmas Break and Easter Break and replaced them with innocuous sounding Winter Break and Spring Break, life goes on. Hey, I have one atheist friend who prefers to celebrate the winter solstice and vernal equinox. I keep telling him that maybe he should check out the Wiccans and maybe the Greek celebrations at the Rites of Dionysius. Fertility, wine,.....What's not to like there? But I digress.

It is true that I personally do not espouse a religion, but I sometimes worry that with no religion I may lose, no not my soul...There is no heaven or hell, but all of my holidays. All of the holidays seem to be tied to some religion or other. Turns out that even when I was a kid, they weren't really about religion for me. Oh hey, I knew that Christmas was supposed to be about the birth of Jesus, the founder of Christianity, the Son of God, etc., etc., etc. It's just that Christmas was really about getting time off from school and getting a bunch of presents. Cool! Santa Claus and reindeer and bags of presents. Now that was a religion that every kid I knew wanted to belong to.

When it came to Easter, I never really dug that one. Never mind being reminded about some dude being crucified by the Romans. Really ugly way to be executed, that. For me and most other kids, it was all about bunnies and colored eggs and stuff. Ohhh, back to the spring fertility symbology again, huh? Okay, I get that stuff now, but as a kid, it was just about the Easter Egg Hunt and that really sucked for a kid who hated boiled eggs. Why in the heck would I want to get involved in a hunt for icky crap like that? Prize eggs? Well there was an incentive. I always liked monetary reward. Still, Easter was always something of a snooze. Had to get all dressed up to go to church to sing, "Up from the grave he arose! He arose!....." Then you went and did the obligatory egg hunt. Lord I was glad when I got too old for that. The only good thing was the big obligatory ham that you got every Easter. Could've called it "Ham Sunday" as far as I was concerned. It was sad to learn that Jewish people don't get ham for Passover. Matzoh just doesn't have the same pizazz, in my estimation. If I were Jewish, I'd probably start a movement to have ham declared kosher. Or then again, I'd end up where I am now, as a non-religious sort who decides his own what to eat and not to eat list. If there were a god, he or she should definitely put kimchi on the "Do not eat under any circumstances list," however.

Not really sure where I'm going with this, but after all is said and done, "Everybody deserves holidays." Everybody needs a break, a paid break, every now and then. The thing is, I think everyone should be allowed to pick and choose their holidays regardless of religious convictions. Even if you believe in nothing, some religious holidays, celebrations, and breaks have some pretty cool traditions. You ought to be allowed to participate. After all, I'm not even remotely Mexican, Irish, or French, but gotta love Cinco de Mayo, St. Patrick's Day, and Bastille Day. But then those are American Bar Holidays, aren't they? So anyway, enjoy your holidays and breaks. I'm counting the days until Memorial Day.