Tuesday, March 24, 2009

For the Love of a City, Part II


I repeat, the spring rains have come. It is currently 60 degrees in Streeterville under cloudy skies, with periods of rain. More of the same tomorrow. The view from the 14th floor is, well, a bit gray. The tour boats and dinner cruise boats have begun coming by on a regular basis. A few police boats go speeding by now and again. It will be a while before the sailboats and jet skis return, even the crazies in the wet suits are not that crazy. The Chicago Sun-Times tells me that the water temperature is currently 40 degrees.

Yesterday I forgot to report on the current sports news, such as it is. I must apologize, a mere oversight I assure you, not a planned slight, for the sports fans in the group out there. At any rate, two full rounds of March Madness have now been completed. Many of the first round upsetters, the so-called Cinderellas have been beaten now. Alas Cinderella very rarely makes it to the Sweet 16. The big guys do. Names like North Carolina and Duke, Memphis and Louisville, Kansas and Connecticut come to mind.

That being said, President Obama, after two complete rounds, has chosen 33 correctly and 19 wrong. R.D.'s Predictor Machine has chosen 37 correctly and has erred on 11. It is early yet, but after two rounds R.D. is in the lead. When you want sports predictions, who ya gonna trust, some guy who graduated at the head of his class at Harvard Law, or a guy with a Master's Degree from Northeastern Illinois University? I think we all know the answer to that one. World affairs and economics? Obama. Sports picks or a bowling partner. R.D., or for that matter someone to shoot 8 ball with. We all have our strengths. And for that matter, Babs has one more correct NCAA pick than Barry Baby, and she's a girl for goodness sakes!

How I do digress. I believe that when I left you yesterday, I was in the throes of telling all about why I love cities, and what it is that makes a city "a real city, and what it is about that that I love. Let me just say here and now, the first requirement for a real city is sidewalks, and not just sidewalks, but sidewalks that are used. I have been to Dallas, Texas, and by all definitions that take into account population, Dallas is a city. Dallas is not a real city. There are way too many places in Dallas where there are no sidewalks, and in those places where there are actually sidewalks, no one uses them. Everyone drives everywhere. That's not a city. That's an overgrown suburb. That's why many of us from places like Chicago do not consider Los Angeles a real city. It may have more people than Chicago, but who walks? The R.D. Department of Made Up Statistics tells me that there are 3 cars for every single citizen of Los Angeles, and none of them have a clue how to parallel park. I challenge any of them to a "Park Off," where you have to drive around the central business district of a major city (a real city) and find a parking place, and then parallel park your car within certain time constraints.

Real cities have a viable public transportation system, as well. I'm not so fond of riding the bus, but I will when I have to. Lots of people in suits do it every day, not just poor people (Can you say minorities?) like in those overgrown suburbs. Actually I like riding El trains and subways. It's a real city experience. Oh and when every seat in the train is taken but one, and there are a lot of people standing, don't even think about sitting there. That dude in the next seat is going to be a problem. Smelly? Maybe. Crazy? Likely. Just a part of the real city experience. And don't play 3 card Monte with the scam artist. You can't win. Anyway, in a real city you don't have to own a car if you don't want to. You can get anywhere you want on inexpensive public transport and if you're in a hurry or feeling snooty just walk out to the curb and put your hand in the air. A cab will be there shortly. In a cab you usually get a little social enrichment as well, by being introduced to different cultures. Most cabbies aren't from this country.

I once knew a person in Chicago whose mantra was, "If you have to go beyond Western Avenue, it's not worth going there, so don't." I believe the translation is, "If you have to go someplace where you have to drive to get there, you're way too far from the center of the city and you're in a cultural desert. Don't bother." I've sometimes heard a version of this that includes some of the inner suburbs and goes, "If I have to go past Mannheim Road, I don't go." That's a more liberal interpretation, and allows for some expressway driving. Frankly, I'll go to work on an expressway, but most places I prefer to go are within walking distance. If I can't walk there, it's probably not worth going there.

That just about covers the transportation requirements of a real city. Tomorrow we'll consider other aspects of "The Real City." I hear President Obama on the TV that was just turned on, and I don't believe he is talking about his bracket predictions in the NCAA tournament, so maybe I should listen to him. Later on.

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