It's not such a bad day here in Streeterville. it's 59 degrees under partly cloudy skies. The sailboats are back even though it's a bit cool yet on the water. Looking east toward Michigan I can see one small private sailboat drifting slowly across the lake and one big cruising sailboat with, oh I don't know, 3 or 4 masts. There are lots of sails and I'd wager this boat is at least as big as the Nina or Pinta, possibly the Santa Maria. Takes a crew to sail this puppy, and there it goes just outside the concrete barrier in the deep water. Can summer be far away? I think not.
One of my AP students had a panic attack in the middle of the AP U.S. History Exam last Friday. He said he was sick, was about to throw up, and couldn't focus or think any more. He quit in the middle of the essay section and walked out. I feel very bad for him, but speaking with other teachers, it is universally accepted that the young man in question is a head case. He puts pressure on himself and psyches himself out. He is an A student, but he doesn't like sitting in the front of the room. It brings too much attention to him. At times he has back problems, also acknowledged as psychosomatic, and asks to stand for entire class periods.
This is a student who has already received a scholarship to Northern Illinois University, the first school he applied to. After being accepted at NIU and being offered a scholarship he didn't apply anywhere else. I do not intend to disparage NIU, but there are pecking orders of universities in this land called America, and this kid may very well have done better. He didn't want the pressure.
Today Mr. Student A told the head of the counseling department that he has decided that he doesn't want to go to college at all. He thinks he'd like to "live life." Apparently the pressure of going to any college has gotten to him now. He's convinced himself that he doesn't really want a lot of money and he's willing to work at low-paying jobs and "live life," so long as he doesn't have to go to college.
How do you broach the topic with someone, "Hey kid you need a shrink." This kid obviously has some issues that need to be dealt with. He needs counseling from a psychologist. The head of the counseling department struck out with him. The guy who works in the post-secondary lab helping kids choose schools and line up funding struck out with him. Now Ms. Counseling Department came to me and said, "Would you talk with him? He respects you." A simple case of Dr. R.D. to the rescue. Oh Lord, this kid may be in trouble. Or maybe I can be just the one to reach him. Who knows? I am going to give it my best shot, though.
It's funny (Funny odd, not funny Ha! Ha!) how people build things up in their heads that get in the way of their success. This kid is an A student, but he has convinced himself that he's not smart and he is just diligent. Got news kid, 99% of smart is just diligence. There was a time that I convinced myself that I wanted to be an actor. I was scared shitless. I get awful stage fright, yet I subjected myself to this for 15-20 years. Babs is a full-time writer, who has had a great deal of success in her life, yet she continually looks to other people as the really competent, smart ones (never me mind you, she lives with me and knows I'm no better than her, but others.). The list goes on. Lots of people on this planet. Lots of different ways to be neurotic.
The thing is, most of us live with our neuroses and keep them within certain boundaries. They may inhibit us to a degree, but we manage to be functional most times. It's just that when those neuroses get outside of those boundaries they begin to inhibit one's ability to function normally. They can screw up a life. As an educator, it is my job to try to prepare kids for being successful, whatever that means in individual cases. No one ever told me that I'd also find it in my job description to try to keep kids from self-destructing. Oh you expect it with drug problems, and pregnancies, and gangs, etc., etc., etc. You just never expect to have to convince a kid with a lot of ability and a high IQ that their best interests would be served by going to college. You never expect to have to deal with the inner demons that can totally ruin kids' lives.
It's not like I'm Super Teach or anything. I know a little about psychology. I once volunteered in a Crisis Intervention Center, but trying to make a difference in a teenaged boy's life, that could affect the rest of his life, that's high stakes. All I can do is try to be a friend and as rational as possible. I just hope he buys it.
No comments:
Post a Comment