Larry the Doorman and Rush Hour Traffic

It's not quite the glorious day today that it has been for the previous 3 or 4 days, but it's not bad today. It's 63 degrees under rainy skies at the Mini. The view from the 14th floor is somewhat gray. There are still a few assorted ignoramuses (ignorami?) out on the running path who haven't figured it out that the weather has taken a turn for the more humid. (About 100% out just now.)

In our continuing series on the World Series of Weather Prediction, featuring Larry the Doorman vs. Phil the Groundhog, Larry the Doorman came through again today. The newspaper and online weather predictions today said that we could expect rain late tonight. I was thinking of going out for a run. Fortunately Larry the Doorman was there to admonish me that rain was imminent. Taking his advice to heart, I packed my gym bag (with an umbrella) and went off to the gym for an indoor workout instead. Sure enough, when I came out of the 900 North building it was pouring rain.

I cannot speak for Phil the Groundhog because he only predicts once a year, and won't be speaking to us about the weather until next February. I cannot speak for the Old Farmer's Almanack because I don't own one and I, frankly, haven't spoken to any "Old Farmers," for a really long time. I live in downtown Chicago. I read the papers. I watch the TV weather. And, for the record, it's Larry the Doorman who steers me right. He's rarely wrong in meteorological matters. If there were a Nobel Prize for weather prediction, Larry would be in the running.

All of that being said, I was driving on the Dan Ryan Expressway this morning (after having navigated Lake Shore Drive and the Stevenson Expressway) and I got to thinking. Bruce Springsteen tells us that "The highway's filled with broken heroes on a last chance power drive...." Frankly, I drive on the highway a lot and the highway is not filled with broken heroes. The highway's filled with assholes and idiots. It's just that the truth is not nearly so poetic. You'd need an early 80's serious punk band to sing that one.

What is it with morons who want to drive in the far left lane until the very last moment and then cut across 3 lanes of traffic and cut in front of you, causing you to slam on your brakes and hope the Hummer on your ass doesn't slam into your ass, especially considering you're driving a Mini Cooper. (OK, you're not driving a Mini Cooper. I am.) Why is it that when I get into the appropriate lane to exit there is always someone in front of me that seems intent on driving 20 mph, and some guy behind me that seems intent on driving 80 mph? How did these people get their driver's licenses? How do they keep them?

You'll note that I'm hitting all the serious issues today. One last one for the road, so to speak. Why the heck is it that there is always more traffic on Tuesday morning than on Monday morning? Are there that many people who have a hangover and want to sleep in on Monday morning? Are there that many people who went to someplace warm and tropical for a long weekend and are taking an extra day off? Week in and week out? For that matter, why is the traffic so damned heavy on Friday afternoons? Serious traffic jams at 4 PM on Friday boys and girls. Remember all of those people who stayed home on Monday to allow me easy driving to work? They take off early on Friday afternoons too. They're all on the highway trying to get to the airport for a little R&R on Friday. When does the work get done? Tuesday through Thursday guys. That's when. I thought we all learned that back in college. Weekends begin on Thursday night. Work (or classes) resume, maybe Monday afternoon, maybe Tuesday morning.

These are just some of the issues I've been pondering as I test the best and the brightest of the next generation this week. They're all consumed with thinking about global warming and nuclear proliferation and ending racism forever. They are the next generation. They believe they can change the world and make it a better place, as did we. Perhaps they will. Along the way, they will undoubtedly have to fight the traffic and deal with a lot of mundane things they would rather not. It's all a part of the process they call life.

Before I go, I'd just like to give a little shout out to Babs. Yesterday I gave space here to the possibility of do-overs in life. Today in her blog, Babs took up the same issue as it relates to today's youth, and their possiblities. Give it a look. It's called Slouching Toward Adulthood. It's located at slouchingtowardadulthood.blogspot.com. See you later.