Gold, Platinum, and Beyond

Babs and I went out for lunch yesterday to enjoy one of the last, fleeting opportunities for al fresco dining. It was a very pleasant experience and then came time to pay the bill. I pulled out that ever ready Amex card and looked around at my fellow diners. I found myself wondering how many platinum cards there were? How many gold cards were there? The logical progress of this line of thinking ended up with, "Why in the hell do I need a gold or platinum card?"

Indeed, why does anyone need a gold or a platinum card? Back in the 1980's, status for many people meant having a BMW and a condo. The color of your card was not so important. Then Amex, Visa, and Mastercard all began offering gold cards. If you wanted to impress folks with the latest status symbol, you had to have a gold card. Pretty soon everbody had a gold card and that wasn't enough. Now you had to have a platinum card. It meant you had arrived. It meant that you carried the latest status symbol.

Once upon a time, it was difficult to qualify for a credit card. In the early 1980's, I was rejected for a Sears Charge card. I was a college graduated with a couple of years of graduate school behind me. I had a full-time job. I had already paid off one set of student loans, one used car loan, and had incurred a second set of student loans from graduate school. Seems as if I was a pretty solid, albeit lowly paid person. Still, no credit card.

When I married my current spouse, she had credit cards, based on the fact that her father had given her a card to get her started, and the longer she paid her bills, the more credit that was offered her, and the more credit cards were available to her. Her father gave her a card on his account originally. She gave me a card on her account, and I subsequently proved my trustworthiness. Pretty soon I was getting credit card offers in the mail. American Express, Visa, Mastercard, Discover. You name it, and I was offered it. I got a Visa. I got a Mastercard. I got an American Express.

I began shopping for the lowest interest rates on carried balances. I changed cards. I was offered a gold Amex card and I was flattered. "Turn in that old green card for a pretty gold card? Show the world that I have arrived? Why not?" Then the Visa and Mastercard people got into the act. I didn't just get gold. I got platinum. Woo! Hoo! "Movin on up.....Finally got a piece of the pie."

Then at some point I realized that everybody has gold and platinum cards. Nobody has plain old blue Visa cards anymore. Nobody has plain old green Amex cards anymore. It means nothing. It's been devalued, like BMW ownership. And what do you get for your gold and platinum colors on your plastic? Gold and platinum colors, for the most part, and a higher credit limit. In the case of Amex, it means you get a higher annual fee and you accrue points that you can redeem for cheesy cheap crap that no one wants. But hey, I got a gold card, and a platinum Visa.

Along came the 1990's and the 2000's and pretty soon every college student was being offered a credit card. Want some status? Better have a $100,000 car, a winter and a summer home, and throw in some $500 Italian shoes. Six figure incomes didn't mean shit anymore. Want real status? Get a seven figure income. Can't even eat a plate of spaghetti and meatballs anymore. Everyone's talking artisanal cheeses, heirloom tomatoes, $150 bottles of wine, and dry-aged steaks. How about some fusion cuisine?

Then it happened. I was in a restaurant in South Beach recently. Turns out it's no longer hip and a status symbol to just live in a condo in South Beach. South of Fifth in South Beach is now the chic area. Condos sell for millions of dollars. I don't believe they allow cars less expensive than a Lexus to even drive down the street there. Conspicuous consumption is alive and well and status symbols have been taken up yet another notch there.

We were sitting at the bar in said restaurant, alright it was Smith and Wollensky's, in the outdoor area overlooking the water. They guy next to us starts talking about his million dollar condo, his outrageous property tax bills and his home on the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland. Comes time to pay the bill and he pulls out (Insert drum roll here.) a black American Express Card. Platinum schatinum. Want to win friends and influence people? Want to keep up with the, no not Joneses, Rockefellers? Get a black card. No, it's not an urban legend. I have seen one with my very own eyes.

So I checked it out online, and here's the poop on a black American Express Card. It's not plastic. It's titanium. It's officially called the Centurion Card. To get one, you must first have a platinum card. You must be able to show that you charge at least $250,000 per year on your card. You must have some serious assets to your name. (Do you own a million dollar condo? Do you own your own company, that generates a lot of profit?) To get this black card, once you have gotten past the previous hurdles, you must plop down a one time fee of $5000, and then pay an annual $2500 fee. Apparently there are some serious percs if you travel a lot. You pay for them, though.

All of this being said, I am seriously considering starting an anti-chic movement, an anti-status symbol. I think I will ask for a downgrade of my American Express Card to the basic green. I want to get rid of my platinum Visa and go back to a simple blue. Will I be able to do the same stuff I do now? Will I get to charge the same stuff, and then pay it off? The answer is an emphatic, "You bet." Who am I trying to impress? Fly under the radar boys and girls. You still have your credit. It's just a different color, and chances are fewer people will be asking you for donations to their causes.