Mommy, What's an Autumnal Equinox?

Tis a lovely day here in Streeterville and the weather is slowly becoming autumn-like. The light, the air, the color of the lake, the feel, and yes, the attire is changing over to autumn. Earlier this week we experienced what is likely the last gasp of summer, and now we are experiencing the cool-down to autumn. Besides it's Babs's birthday on Sunday and that's always a sure sign of the changing of the seasons.

The question is, "What does it actually mean to be autumn?" (That's fall in the vernacular. Some people have fall. Others have autumn. Some experience the first day of fall. Others have an autumnal equinox. Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto.) Anyway, the first thing that comes to mind with me, is that I can quit pretending to be that skinny kid I once was, and cover myself up for goodness sakes. Been running around in shorts and t-shirts all summer and the expanse that is my middle-aged spread can't be exciting to look at. The legs feel mighty good in the warm summer sun, but those varicose veins are, let's face it, unsightly. Bring on the long pants. Get out the sweaters. Put some real shoes and socks on those feet. Let's not even talk about the black toenail I got from running 14 miles. Didn't hurt. Just plain ugly. So shoes it is.

Know what autumn is? It's that time of the year that I can justify getting out that suede jacket I own. It's sort of a cool factor. Looks cool. Weather's cool. I feel cool when I wear it. Can't wear it in the summer. Too hot. Can't wear it in the winter. Too cold. Can't wear it when it precipitates out. Ruin that sucker. Autumn is perfect. As Goldilocks would assess it, "Just right."

This brings us to that other thing that autumn is. I live right next to Lake Michigan and the lake effect makes it "just right," not too hot, not too cold (That comes all too soon. Read my post about "The Hat With Flaps Factor" from last winter.), but just right. And it doesn't rain too much during autumn here. The forecast for October is sunny and yellow, with periodic falling leaves.

Have to admit that I like living in a high-rise now. No more raking those leaves and mulching and bagging and tedium ad-infinitum. Leaves are for looking at. Why else would there be states called Michigan and Wisconsin? If I have offended any Michiganis or Wisconsinites, well don't take my money next time I come to view your friggin leaves, okay? I have few enough arms and legs left. But I digress.

What else is autumn? Autumn is that time when the new of a school year wears off and a teacher really starts to appreciate the joys of retirement on the horizon. In late summer, the new school year can feel like a new beginning, the opportunity to reach new minds, as yet unscathed by the system. Come autumn, the teacher begins to realize that kids are a pain in the ass, and there's a reason that the school system pays them to do this. Ah what a bittersweet time. The new year hopefulness is gone, but the total despair, that comes later when they realize all of those kids are total shits, has not arrived yet.

Autumn is more than this. Autumn is a warmup, a preparation for the winter that is invevitably coming. Autumn is a time when your sports choices change from "The Cubs totally sucked this year," to "The Bears totally suck this year." That's autumn. For non-Chicagoans, Cubs are a baseball team. They play in the summer. Bears are a football team. They play in the fall and early winter. They both have a history of sucking, Cubs more so than Bears, however. Can there be a metaphor in there somewhere? Cubs still sucking at the teat of the Momma Bear and Bears occasionally asserting their.....well anyway, maybe not.

What is autumn? Autumn is that time, in Dallas, Texas, when people will light fireplaces to snuggle up next to, even though it's 75 degrees outside. Autumn is that time when America will sit anxiously in front of their TV's to see if the new season is worth watching. Autumn is that time when America's shopping malls will put out their winter wardrobes for sale and put Santa Claus crap all over the windows, in the newspapers and magazines, and on signs around the country. Most will wait until the Halloween crap is gone, but some won't. Autumn is that time when you can count on the beer companies making their football season sales push. Autumn is Oktoberfest celebrations that are excuses to sell more beer to twenty somethings (Sort of like St. Patty's Day and Cinco de Mayo.).

Oops, that began turning ugly. I really like autumn, I really do. My birthday is in October. I like wearing sweaters. I appreciate the coolness when I run in the Trick or Treat Trot. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go see if the premier of a new TV show is worth watching and I think I'll have an Oktoberfest Ale. I saw an ad for a sale on winter clothing and I'll be needing that soon. Thursday Night NFL is on. I have to plan a trip to the U.P. to see the leaves. AAAAAAAHHHHH! I like autumn. I really do.