Why Is This Man Smiling?

I was in an early morning class a couple of days ago, talking about australopithecines and homo sapiens and hominids in general while passing out an assignment for students to work on. As I passed her desk, a mere wisp of a 14 year old girl (90 pounds soaking wet, if that much) looked up at me and said, "Why are you always smiling?" She was, notably, not smiling.

At first I didn't think much about this question. I just kept on about my business, smiled at her and said, "Why wouldn't I be smiling."

This waif of a girl screwed up her face and shot back, "There ain't nothing to smile about."

At this point I did think a bit. What I thought was, "This girl's life must really suck to be 14 and so negative and to be annoyed by the mere fact that a guy doing his job (Teaching World Studies) is smiling. " I said none of the above. Kept it to myself. What I said was, "Are you alive?"

Morose Waif responded in an annoyed tone, "Yes."

Then I came back with Mr. Flippant's shrug response, "Beats the heck out of being dead, doesn't it?" The entire class laughed, with the exception of Morose Waif. She didn't say another word, but went back to her work and didn't say another word the entire period. One short moment in the day of a public school teacher.

Then I found myself thinking about this later. Why do I smile? Is it a trained disingenuous response to work? Am I really that happy about life? Is my life so easy and so much better than the life of others that I am able to smile in the face of what others take to be adversity? Or is it just this plastered on thing on the front of my face that shows up there in public when I can't afford to show what I really think? Hmmm.

I went running after work this afternoon. The big waves of autumn have come to Lake Michigan. The lake was green with whitecaps and the waves were crashing on the beach and washing over the concrete running path in Streeterville. A stiff wind out of the north was blowing in my face as I headed north, and yet I smiled. Why? It was 68 degrees. I knew that when I reached the horse trough exactly 2.75 miles north I would be turning around for the trip back and the wind would be at my back.

I look out these windows on the 14th floor and I know that a poor kid from Arkansas now lives in a building on the National Historic Registry and has Eastward views to die for. I was running with a group one Saturday morning a while back and I pointed up to my building as we ran past. A lawyer in the group remarked, "Never lose money on a lake view." That's a smile I can take to the bank.

I work as a teacher in a profession that gives something to society at large. I help kids bridge the gap from childhood to adulthood and find ways to be productive citizens. Some of them even appreciate it later on. That's something to smile about. Of course that job pays a decent wage, has good benefits, and I get about 2-2 1/2 months off in the summer, two weeks off at Christmas, and a week off in the spring. There's something to smile about.

I've lived with the same woman since 1985 and we have a pretty sound relationship. We love each other, but better yet we actually like each other. We're good friends. There's something to smile about.

There are a lot of things to smile about in life. I'm 58 years old and healthy and I can still run 10 miles. I have family. I have friends. I don't have to struggle too much. I have enough money to go cool places when I want. Life is pretty good, on the whole. I find myself in the position of wanting to ease the pain and help those Morose Waifs of the world I encounter any way I can. And I smile through it all. Not really sure why. I can only speculate, but as The Bad Examples said in song, "I'm not dead yet....."