Fools and Their Money, Me and My Money

It's a cold day in Streeterville, 13 degrees and sunny at the Mini. The windchill is, well, really friggin cold. Put on your hat with flaps and if you own them, don your longjohns. It promises to be colder yet as the sun goes down. It's as Walt Kelley would have said in Pogo, "Looks like Friday the 13th comes on a Tuesday this month."

I took the Mini in to Patrick Mini to get the oil changed last Saturday and in the "Marketing Ploy of the Month," I was told, "We can't reset the counter because your car is due for a 50,000 mile checkup. Would you like us to do that today? It usually takes most of the day and it costs somewhere around $1000." Do I have sucker tatooed on my forehead or what?

But let me back up and explain a couple of things to you. Mini Coopers are no longer made by an English owned company. They were purchased by BMW. As a part of the makeover and marketing strategy, BMW installed onboard computers that tell you the temperature, your average speed, your average miles per gallon, how many miles you have left on your current tank of gas, when your next oil change is due, and, yes, when you are due for a tuneup/inspection. Now, every time I start my car I get a flashing readout that tells me I'm currently 25 miles overdue for scheduled maintenance service. It won't be reset so it stops flashing until I get that service performed. $1000? What are they planning on doing, installing gold plated spark plugs and a platinum Mini insignia?

I went to the dealers website and sent an e-mail to the service department to complain and I got a chirpy e-mail from a salesman who said he'd heard that I contacted them trying to get info on 2009 Minis. He was all too happy to sell me one of those. What? I don't like how they're trying to gouge me on service, so I'll buy a whole new car and take on a new set of payments so I can get free service for 4 years or 50,000 miles. Oh, did I forget? My car is no longer under warranty.

I sent the chirpy salesman an e-mail explaining that I merely wanted a realistic estimate of the costs of a 50,000 mile inspection, just in case the young man quoting me the $1000 figure had been mistaken. In short order, I got an e-mail stating, "You'll have to talk to the service department," and he left a phone number. I was under the impression that I'd tried to contact the Service Department before when the dealership in question tried to sell me a new car, instead of giving me a reasonably priced tuneup/maintenance check.

What this all says to me is that the dealership's unstated motto is, "We don't care what you think about us. Plenty of other suckers are out there clamoring for our popular little vehicle, so give us your hard earned cash and shut up."

In an unrelated incident,except for the fact that it is another example of over the top American marketing, I got an e-mail yesterday from someone claiming to be a blogger. The e-mail said something to the effect, "Could I link my site to yours? Your observations could complement mine." Anyway, I clicked on the website in question. It turned out to be something called myairshoes.com and was a blatant sales pitch for Nike, with lots of pictures of what,...you guessed it, shoes. Oh what a tangled web we weave..... I'd say, "Pardon the pun," but frankly I live to pun.

I realize that we live in the center of the capitalist universe and a great many people would love to see Adam Smith added to the canon of saints. Saint Adam, the patron saint of greed. Wait, that's not possible. Greed is one of those no nos. Is it a "Deadly Sin?" Didn't read that book, so I couldn't say, but it's at least a pretty bad sin, if not one of the 7 deadly ones and this country, and most of the developed world, for that matter, are swimming in greed and excess marketing.

Good old Ben, or someone like him at least, told us, "A fool and his money are soon parted." It seems that the main job of the MBAs of the world has become to help everyone they deem to be the fools of the world to get parted from their money, and they pretty much think most of us qualify as the fools to get parted from that money.

Somewhere back in Junior High, I think, I learned about the Republican Party and trickle down economics in the 1920s. Then I learned about the great depression. The haves convinced the have nots that if we all just listened to them, kept government out of the economy, and bought lots of stuff, we'd all live the Life of Reilly. Thought we'd all learned our lesson about that and then came the Reagan Revolution. History repeated itself yet again. Greed and lack of restraint ran amuck. This was brought to you from the Department of Redundancy Department. Enough! Enough! Enough! It's time we all took a stand and let them know that we are not simple fools waiting to be fleeced. Oh, and Mini, I'll be taking my business elsewhere to get a simple tuneup.