Rayness

Had a lovely view from the 14th floor this morning. Changed the photo on my profile as a result. Hasn't been a bad day in Streeterville, just a bit busy with the real job. It was 32 degrees at the Mini. Still no word on the wind chill.

I've been wondering what it means to be a Ray. This conjures a great many images and thoughts. Growing up in the South, it seemed like every guy had 2 names. You know what I mean, Billy Bob Thornton, Stevie Ray Vaughn, etc. Well my name is Rex Ray. People inevitably asked me, "Rex Ray who?" To which I replied, "Not Rex Ray anything. Just Rex Ray. My last name is Ray." This usually elicited an "Oh. What's your middle name?" This was accompanied by a quizzical look. Of course these days a great many people think Ray is my first name and insist on calling me Ray, as in short for Raymond or Ramon. I'm not that either.

Then there is the whole other issue of a first name like Rex. My mother was into singing cowboys about the time I was born and one particular singing cowboy was named Rex Allen. I became his namesake. Got dragged to the rodeo at age 7 to see him ride around on his horse, Cocoa, while sporting a magnificent Rhinestone cowboy suit. In elementary school I became "Tyrannosaurus Rex." About 7th or 8th grade I became "Sexy Rexy." In 9th grade I became "Oedipus Rex." After I became an adult people would ask, "What's Rex short for?" To which I would reply, "It's not short for anything. It's just Latin. It means king." Had to add that last little bit, as a bit of personal pride and thumb my nose attamness. Then there have always been the ones who tell me "I used to have a dog named Rex," or they would bark at me and tell me "Sit Rex. Sit." Really clever and likeable those guys.

Back to the Ray thing, though. Over the years there have been those who wish to know if I'm related to James Earl Ray. We are both Southerners with the last name Ray. We must be cousins or something then, and maybe belong to the same KKK local. I grew very tired of that really quick, just like the insistence that I must like country and western music because I grew up in the South. The funny thing is that no one has ever asked me if I'm related to Rachel Ray. Hey we both have the same last name. Why wouldn't I be just as likely to be a cousin of a TV cooking celebrity as a redneck, racist murderer? Forget it. Ray is an incredibly common Scotch-Irish surname. In the poorer classes of the Southern part of the U.S. we are ubiquitous.

What about my real family? What does it mean to be a member of the branch of the Ray clan that I hail from? What does that mean? Let's see. It means you are usually short and almost as wide as you are tall. It usually means you have a Southern accent, though some of manage to do away with it, for the most part, after living in the North for the last 30 some odd years. It usually means that as a child you went to church a lot and you know more about the Bible than a great many ministers, and can effect the sound of a Hellfire and damnation sermon better than a Baptist minister at a Tent Revival. It means that you grew up poor and most of us have stories about childhood poverty to make a church mouse feel wealthy.

That being said, it also means you have one hell of a work ethic. As a child my father wasn't into giving allowances like most of my classmates received. Want to spend money. Earn money. He saw to it that I worked to earn money and take care of my own wants and needs from, oh about the age of 9 or 10. Mow lawns. Done that. Sell fireworks. Done that. Run a cotton candy machine at a grocery store Grand Opening. Done that. Ride around on a bread truck and carry loads of bread in stores and restaurants. Done that. Those are just as a child. We won't go into the litany of adult jobs I've held.

So what does Rayness really mean? I've been trying to figure that out my entire life and I'm not sure I've figured it out yet. There is a whole past that I try to escape on the one hand and embrace on the other. There is the present that I try to stamp my imprint on, so people will associate that with Rayness. Meanwhile my siblings and Ray relatives as a whole try desperately to keep the world from thinking that I am representative of Raydom as a whole. I guess I'll just keep on keeping on here in Chicago and hold down this spot on the 14th floor. Just don't call me Ray